Planet of the Yard Apes
Saturday 8.
today's saturday 8 ... a tongue-in-cheek look at babies.
1. i'm going to a baby shower today. do you like baby showers?
I've only been to one. It was all right.
2. are you a parent?
No. It's the best situation for all involved.
3. i abhor baby showers, but i must attend this one. i've been practising my "sit and smile" routine. what do you do when you are forced to attend a function you hate?
I'm never forced. I just don't go. If I do go, and it sucks, I just say something about not feeling well and needing to go home and lie down. I suppose if I HAD to go to something I hated, I'd make sure I had something else important scheduled the same day. That way, I could put in a brief appearance, apologise for my bad scheduling--silly me, forgetting this event and scheduling my physical for the same day!--and leave. Or, to make it even simpler, I could just show up, lie about having something else to do, and then go home.
One of the nice things about working nights is that nobody ever invites you to boring shit because they believe you'll be sleeping.
4. my neighbour recently had a baby with down's as she is 41 yrs. old. how old is 'too old' to have a baby?
I'm the wrong person to ask. That gets into the whole issue of childbirth as a right vs. a privilege, as well as the ethics of conceiving when there's a risk of birth defects. It's too big for me to judge. Although I will say, if you already have osteoporosis, you probably don't want to be trying to grow a whole other skeleton in your body. But again, it's not my body. And I NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT AGAIN!! HAHAHAHAHAAA! That shit is totally not my problem now! Wheeeeeee!!!!
5. my friend recently had twin boys, which i think is God's way of getting back at you for all the evil you have done in your life. before i had children, i used to think having twins was a 'cool idea.' now, with fertility drugs, triplets and quadruplets are fairly common. what is your feeling on multiple-child pregnancies?
Fine with me, as long as it's not mine, and as long as they're not having more kids than they actually wanted.
6. Plan B was recently approved to go over-the-counter this week in the States. i'm thrilled beyond belief as i've had to use something similar (broken condom), BUT many people are up-in-arms about Plan B due to their beliefs on conception & life. how do you feel about morning-after contraception?
I am very much in favour of it. People who are too retarded to know the difference between birth control and abortion should not be allowed to make medical decisions for others.
7. quite a few of my friends are childless by choice and get constantly hounded by friends/family for being 'selfish'. some others are not able to conceive and one friend has adopted from China. deep-down, how do you feel about couples who choose NOT to procreate. does a part of you want to tell a close friend/family member that they're really 'missing out'?
ABSOLUTELY NOT. First of all, I don't want kids myself, so I would never tell somebody they should do it if they don't want to. Second of all, that has got to be just about the rudest thing in the world, telling somebody else what to do with not only their vagina but the next several decades of their life. If somebody's bugging you to have children, tell them to fuck off. Fuck directly off. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. The worst thing you can do to a child is give birth to it because somebody else wanted you to.
8. a friend is childless by choice, and she and her husband (late 20s, early 30s) have gone into their OB/GYN and vasectomy clinics looking to be sterilised. they have actually been turned away and referred to psychiatric counselling due to this request. how do you feel in regard to the way they've been treated for their request?
I think that's crap. I also hope that couple has enough money to keep going to doctors until they find somebody who will do it. I had no trouble convincing my gyno to let me have a hysterectomy. Some doctors still have the attitude that everybody who doesn't have children will regret it--and if they don't regret it, they still actually do regret it, they're just in denial. This is total bullshit, and I was lucky enough to have a doc that didn't buy into it.
I'm going to log off, get some sleep, and thank the gods for the millionth time that my life is not controlled by a totally helpless being who watches inane cartoons all day and poops constantly. And once I'm done thanking them for not being married, I'll thank them for not having children either.
same bitch time, same bitch channel...
today's saturday 8 ... a tongue-in-cheek look at babies.
1. i'm going to a baby shower today. do you like baby showers?
I've only been to one. It was all right.
2. are you a parent?
No. It's the best situation for all involved.
3. i abhor baby showers, but i must attend this one. i've been practising my "sit and smile" routine. what do you do when you are forced to attend a function you hate?
I'm never forced. I just don't go. If I do go, and it sucks, I just say something about not feeling well and needing to go home and lie down. I suppose if I HAD to go to something I hated, I'd make sure I had something else important scheduled the same day. That way, I could put in a brief appearance, apologise for my bad scheduling--silly me, forgetting this event and scheduling my physical for the same day!--and leave. Or, to make it even simpler, I could just show up, lie about having something else to do, and then go home.
One of the nice things about working nights is that nobody ever invites you to boring shit because they believe you'll be sleeping.
4. my neighbour recently had a baby with down's as she is 41 yrs. old. how old is 'too old' to have a baby?
I'm the wrong person to ask. That gets into the whole issue of childbirth as a right vs. a privilege, as well as the ethics of conceiving when there's a risk of birth defects. It's too big for me to judge. Although I will say, if you already have osteoporosis, you probably don't want to be trying to grow a whole other skeleton in your body. But again, it's not my body. And I NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT AGAIN!! HAHAHAHAHAAA! That shit is totally not my problem now! Wheeeeeee!!!!
5. my friend recently had twin boys, which i think is God's way of getting back at you for all the evil you have done in your life. before i had children, i used to think having twins was a 'cool idea.' now, with fertility drugs, triplets and quadruplets are fairly common. what is your feeling on multiple-child pregnancies?
Fine with me, as long as it's not mine, and as long as they're not having more kids than they actually wanted.
6. Plan B was recently approved to go over-the-counter this week in the States. i'm thrilled beyond belief as i've had to use something similar (broken condom), BUT many people are up-in-arms about Plan B due to their beliefs on conception & life. how do you feel about morning-after contraception?
I am very much in favour of it. People who are too retarded to know the difference between birth control and abortion should not be allowed to make medical decisions for others.
7. quite a few of my friends are childless by choice and get constantly hounded by friends/family for being 'selfish'. some others are not able to conceive and one friend has adopted from China. deep-down, how do you feel about couples who choose NOT to procreate. does a part of you want to tell a close friend/family member that they're really 'missing out'?
ABSOLUTELY NOT. First of all, I don't want kids myself, so I would never tell somebody they should do it if they don't want to. Second of all, that has got to be just about the rudest thing in the world, telling somebody else what to do with not only their vagina but the next several decades of their life. If somebody's bugging you to have children, tell them to fuck off. Fuck directly off. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. The worst thing you can do to a child is give birth to it because somebody else wanted you to.
8. a friend is childless by choice, and she and her husband (late 20s, early 30s) have gone into their OB/GYN and vasectomy clinics looking to be sterilised. they have actually been turned away and referred to psychiatric counselling due to this request. how do you feel in regard to the way they've been treated for their request?
I think that's crap. I also hope that couple has enough money to keep going to doctors until they find somebody who will do it. I had no trouble convincing my gyno to let me have a hysterectomy. Some doctors still have the attitude that everybody who doesn't have children will regret it--and if they don't regret it, they still actually do regret it, they're just in denial. This is total bullshit, and I was lucky enough to have a doc that didn't buy into it.
I'm going to log off, get some sleep, and thank the gods for the millionth time that my life is not controlled by a totally helpless being who watches inane cartoons all day and poops constantly. And once I'm done thanking them for not being married, I'll thank them for not having children either.
same bitch time, same bitch channel...
posted by Frida | 12:27 PM
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