Ugh.

So Google bent me over, yanked my pants down, and switched me to "the new Blogger," which I'm guessing is just like regular Blogger only shittier, more intrusive, and closer to the oligarchical corporatocracy that Google and Ted Turner and Bill Gates [who collectively now own, I estimate, about 99.992% of everything] crave.

But at least I can still post, and it won't be nagging me anymore, whining and pleading to let it Googleize me. So it's like having a boyfriend, only cheaper and with less laundry to do.

Anyway, in an effort to feel less dirty somehow, here's the Saturday 8.


1. wine: which do you prefer ... reds or whites, or perhaps something different, like a dessert/ice wine?
The only wine I can drink that doesn't give me weird reactions is some homemade wine that somebody gave me. In any case, most wine tastes like somebody peed in grape juice. I'm sure nice wine doesn't taste like that, but I'm not gonna spend $2954743 on a bottle of wine when it's just gonna make me sicker than fuck anyway.

2. beer: as a guinness drinker, i prefer my beer to be in the "non-see thru" variety. The Husband prefers harp & bass. i'm convinced his co-workers would drink hamm's if it were served to them. what kind of beer, if any, do you prefer?
Every kind of beer I have ever drunk has tasted putrid. One of the all-time most difficult things for me to understand is how people can drink it.

3. spirits: are you a hard-liquor drinker? if so, what kind(s)? if not, why not?
No. Why? Because, as incredible as this may sound, I don't like feeling like my heart and lungs are trying to shut themselves down. I also don't like waking up the next day with uncomfortable internal swellings in the liver/gallbladder area.

"Well, you're drinking too much, then."

Really. A teaspoon is too much, in that case, because that's all it takes to make me hella sick as described above. How did that happen? Well, let's just put it this way: If you're taking Topamax, and you care even a tiny bit about ever, ever, ever wanting to drink alcohol again, stop taking it now. If you can't stop taking Topamax for some reason, clean out your liquor cabinet and give away all your booze, cos you're never gonna use the shit again.

Or you could do like I do, drink one tablespoon of all-natural homemade wine, and wake up with a furious hangover. [Yes, I had my liver tested. No, they didn't find anything wrong. I was given the choice of giving up alcohol or having exploratory surgery.] Yes, that is one tablespoon, as in 1/2 fl. oz.

And people have the balls to ask me why I don't take medication anymore.

4. my wine bar opens in a few weeks, and The Husband thinks i have too many people to invite to the grand opening. should i brown-nose and keep my bosses on the guest list, or should i forget them and just stick with my good friends (the bosses will probably overhear people talking about the opening, unofortch).
Do whatever you want. It's your wine bar.

5. when i drink a good red, i LOVE to have a rich, thick, heavy slab of parmesan to eat while enjoying my wine. when you drink alcohol (or in the past, if you are currently a non-drinker), what types of snacks or foods do you like to have while you drink ... and are their certain 'pairings' you prefer?
See 3.
6. are you going to watch the oscars this weekend? why or why not?
No. Because life is short, that's why not. I have important belly button lint to attend to.

7. i love celeb fashion, and love the snarky site "go fug yourself" even more. are you interested in any of the red carpet styles that happen at awards shows?
No.

8. so, the angels sang, the planets aligned, and my future second ex-husband is touring again with his old band, The Police. i was too young to see a Police concert but have seen every single one of Sting's concerts since he went solo. even if it involves resurrecting Jim Morrison or Bob Marley from the dead, which musical artist/group would you die to see live?
Nobody.

Somehow I don't feel any cleaner. Maybe I'll take another shower and wait for Google and whoever the hell makes Topamax [I don't even care enough to look it up] to call me up and threaten to sue over this post.

Maybe there's a support group or something I can join.

same bitch time, same bitch channel...