Supplies!
In spite of the fact that the entire Internet appears to be mortally constipated, here is the Saturday 8.
1. when and what was your last big surprise?
Getting a gas bill from my old place three months after I'd moved.
2. what was your biggest surprise ever?
I don't know. I can't think of any. It's only possible to be surprised when what happens is different than what you assume will happen, and I try not to assume much.
3. generally, do you like surprises? why or why not?
No. Unexpected things suck, except money. Why? I don't know. Maybe my earliest experiences with surprises were traumatic or something. Christmas presents are supposed to be a surprise, but when your family is on food stamps half the time, the stuff you really want is never what's in the boxes. You ask for a Transformer. Your parents wrap up a present that MIGHT be a Transformer and don't tell you what it is. Somewhere in your kid mind, it's still possible that it's a Transformer. So you open it up, filled with anticipation, and it's fucking socks. Surprise! Yeah, I can't imagine how anybody would learn to dislike surprises.
I'm not saying that Christmas presents or being poor or anything else ruined my life or anything like that. I'm just saying, if you're gonna give me socks instead of a Transformer, at least tell me it's socks so I don't have my hopes dashed. So in that sense, surprises have an almost sadistic aspect to them.
The other reason I hate surprises is because I always have plans for my time and money. Yeah, you have to expect that there will be unexpected changes in life. But if you're gonna do something with your life, it really helps to have some kind of a plan; and any surprise that comes up will force you to change that plan, scrap part or all of the time invested in making the plan--and in some cases, start all over from square one.
Standard response to this: "But that's how life is! That's just how it is, deal with it." Um. I know that. I am dealing with it.* I'm just saying it sucks.
4. what is the biggest or best (or even worst) surprise you've ever pulled on someone?
I don't pull surprises on people very often. Golden Rule, and so forth.
5. what was the worst surprise you've ever had?
See 2. Actually, it's probably the discovery that you can be 30, have the same health problems as somebody who's 60, and nobody in the medical community seems to give a fuck. They just treat you like you really ARE 60--like, if you have these health problems, you'll probably be dead in another 10 or 15 years anyway, so why bother? If you already have urinary incontinence and joint pain and about 50 other symptoms of being old--but you still get carded when you buy wine coolers--shouldn't that tip SOMEBODY off? Or do they just not care as long as they get their money? [Don't even get me started on how they take your money and then tell you they don't know what's wrong with you.]
6. if you could plan your "dream surprise" for yourself (yes, i *know* it wouldn't actually be a surprise then, but work with me here) or someone else, how would it go?
I'm not sure, but it would involve receiving large amounts of money. That's about the only thing you could surprise me with without majorly pissing me off.
7. have you ever ruined a surprise for someone?
Probably. I have a pretty big mouth.
8. have you ever planned a surprise that didn't work out, or had someone try to surprise you that didn't actually work?
I don't remember. I don't think so.
Memes sure go a lot faster when your long-term memory is as bad as mine.
same bitch time, same bitch channel...
__________
*I could never understand why, if you complain about something, people tell you to deal with it. As if you're not dealing with it, as if the only thing you're doing about it is complaining. You could be doing five different things about it, and just taking a five-minute break to complain and vent some frustration. Of course, that's all they see you doing at the moment; and for a lot of people, what's not right in front of them doesn't exist.
1. when and what was your last big surprise?
Getting a gas bill from my old place three months after I'd moved.
2. what was your biggest surprise ever?
I don't know. I can't think of any. It's only possible to be surprised when what happens is different than what you assume will happen, and I try not to assume much.
3. generally, do you like surprises? why or why not?
No. Unexpected things suck, except money. Why? I don't know. Maybe my earliest experiences with surprises were traumatic or something. Christmas presents are supposed to be a surprise, but when your family is on food stamps half the time, the stuff you really want is never what's in the boxes. You ask for a Transformer. Your parents wrap up a present that MIGHT be a Transformer and don't tell you what it is. Somewhere in your kid mind, it's still possible that it's a Transformer. So you open it up, filled with anticipation, and it's fucking socks. Surprise! Yeah, I can't imagine how anybody would learn to dislike surprises.
I'm not saying that Christmas presents or being poor or anything else ruined my life or anything like that. I'm just saying, if you're gonna give me socks instead of a Transformer, at least tell me it's socks so I don't have my hopes dashed. So in that sense, surprises have an almost sadistic aspect to them.
The other reason I hate surprises is because I always have plans for my time and money. Yeah, you have to expect that there will be unexpected changes in life. But if you're gonna do something with your life, it really helps to have some kind of a plan; and any surprise that comes up will force you to change that plan, scrap part or all of the time invested in making the plan--and in some cases, start all over from square one.
Standard response to this: "But that's how life is! That's just how it is, deal with it." Um. I know that. I am dealing with it.* I'm just saying it sucks.
4. what is the biggest or best (or even worst) surprise you've ever pulled on someone?
I don't pull surprises on people very often. Golden Rule, and so forth.
5. what was the worst surprise you've ever had?
See 2. Actually, it's probably the discovery that you can be 30, have the same health problems as somebody who's 60, and nobody in the medical community seems to give a fuck. They just treat you like you really ARE 60--like, if you have these health problems, you'll probably be dead in another 10 or 15 years anyway, so why bother? If you already have urinary incontinence and joint pain and about 50 other symptoms of being old--but you still get carded when you buy wine coolers--shouldn't that tip SOMEBODY off? Or do they just not care as long as they get their money? [Don't even get me started on how they take your money and then tell you they don't know what's wrong with you.]
6. if you could plan your "dream surprise" for yourself (yes, i *know* it wouldn't actually be a surprise then, but work with me here) or someone else, how would it go?
I'm not sure, but it would involve receiving large amounts of money. That's about the only thing you could surprise me with without majorly pissing me off.
7. have you ever ruined a surprise for someone?
Probably. I have a pretty big mouth.
8. have you ever planned a surprise that didn't work out, or had someone try to surprise you that didn't actually work?
I don't remember. I don't think so.
Memes sure go a lot faster when your long-term memory is as bad as mine.
same bitch time, same bitch channel...
__________
*I could never understand why, if you complain about something, people tell you to deal with it. As if you're not dealing with it, as if the only thing you're doing about it is complaining. You could be doing five different things about it, and just taking a five-minute break to complain and vent some frustration. Of course, that's all they see you doing at the moment; and for a lot of people, what's not right in front of them doesn't exist.
posted by Frida | 12:13 PM
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